Ramones

Artist: The Ramones
Album: Ramones
Release Year: 1976
Genres: punk

1) Blitzkreig Bop; 2) Beat on the Brat; 3) Judy Is a Punk; 4) I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend; 5) Chain Saw; 6) Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue; 7) I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement; 8) Loudmouth; 9) Havana Affair; 10) Listen to My Heart; 11) 53rd & 3rd; 12) Let's Dance; 13) I Don't Wanna Walk Around with You; 14) Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World.

Best Song: Blitzkreig Bop (or anything else)

HEY! HO! LET'S GO! Johnny Rotten, Joel Madden, and Billy Joe Armstrong: bow down to your rightful lords and masters! Before punk became the Gospel of anti-establishment teens, before punk meant attacking every social norm in existence, before punk was punk, there was the Ramones. They played could barely play their instruments--and yet, they did punk better than just about any band manages today.

How? Simple: the Ramones were great at stripping away all the extra layers of rock music, leaving just the bare-bones essentials, and showing us that yes, those essentials are all you truly need to create satisfying music. I assume the drumming rarely strays from 4/4 time (I can't identify time signiatures), and the bass lines are just one or two notes over and over. Johhny Ramone slams out the same chords, and Joey yelps as much as he sings. At first listen it may be nothing but a pointless, talentless racket, but I implore you to try it a few more times. It'll come to you. The simple lyrics which awaken the irreverent youthful spirit? The snarling yet indifferent vocal delivery? The catchy-as-hell melodies? They do their work, and the reward is great.

Don't expect anything intelligent in the lyrics. The Ramones weren't political; they were all about partying, making out, watching horror movies, and other D-student thrills. I mean, come on: "now I wanna sniff some glue/Now I wanna have something to do." Or even: ""Beat on the brat with a baseball bat. Oh yeah." That's it. They're kids who don't want to take out the trash or do their homework or put up with the bitchy girls behind them in biology class. They just wanna rock, man, and I'm on board with them one hundred percent. It's like reliving high school and pulling off all the shit I was too smart to do in real life. The stupid lyrics may leave some wanting a little more, but with punk, it's either that or more anarchist crap, which I'd say is just as braindead, just in a different way.

There are a lot of these little touches I love, too. Like the way Joey manages to fit the word "basement" into one syllable in track 7, or the weird "ba-boom" drum thing after "baby baby make me loco" in "Havana Affair," or even the jangly guitars in the swaggering intro to "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend," which set the simple-minded, freshman-year mood just fine. I could go on, but I'll just let you find the rest for yourself.

Most of these songs barely reach the two-minute mark, and they're almost indistinguishable from one another--which is great! Songs like these don't have the momentum to sustain them for any longer than that. The rapid-fire style works wonders, keeping us moving, keeping everything fresh. Maybe they couldn't write rock operas or progressive epics, but they still had a great understanding of composition, those Ramones. All the sudden, that cliche about how "the genius lies in its simplicity" seems to have found a home.

Gabba gabba hey.

Rating: 9