As Ugly as They Wanna Be

Artist: Ugly Kid Joe
Album: As Ugly as They Wanna Be
Release Year: 1991
Genres: hard rock, thrash

1) Madman; 2) Whiplash Liquor; 3) Too Bad; 4) Everything About You; 5) Sweet Leaf/Funky Fresh Country Club; 6) Heavy Metal.

Best Song: Madman


I found this CD at Pawn America for a dollar, and as soon as I saw the cover I had to have it. And, just as the cover suggests, this is about the dumbest, trashiest-sounding 90's rock you're likely to come by. But it's also a lot of fun, even though you may feel ashamed of yourself before it ends.

Imagine Guns 'n' Roses, early-nineties Metallica, and KISS spitting out some sort of musical offspring, and you might have something resembling Ugly Kid Joe. The tunes are catchy, no matter how ridiculously campy they all are. It's like they took all the bad rock cliches and inflated them to cosmic proportions, and still managed to be listenable. Maybe the whole thing is actually an elaborate satire on the mouth-breathers who take this stuff seriously! But probably not.

The lyrics are braindead too, like something out of a preteen comic book or something. It's nothing but insanity, drugs, and murder, but then again, that about all this genre can manage. This kind of music is what a fourteen-year-old wannabe rebel would think was cool. And it's that very same juvenile spirit that makes it so much damn fun. Who's gonna deny the fun in a simple, head-banging chorus like "too bad, too bad, too bad too bad Johnny, whatcha gonna do?" Or lines like "I hate your daddy's guts too, boo-hoo" in "Everything About You?" It's a perfect example of "so bad it's good."

The bass in track five is kinda cool, but I can never remember how the rest actually goes. I do know that seven minutes is too long for this type of music, though. Hell, four is even too long on repulsive, pseudo-rap-metal tripes like "Whiplash Liquor," but at least that one gets you a few cheap laughs. I give the prize to "Madman," thanks to its rip-roarin' chorus and nice guitar solo.

So grab this if you want a cheap thrill, or even to entertain your less-than-brilliant friends. And, who knows- you might find yourself wanting to spin this once in a while...

Rating: 6